How to survive a forty minute MRI
1) In your head, run through all your current accordion songs to the beat of the machine. It will be like a very weird accordion industrial party. Don’t accidentally squeeze the emergency alert ball, even if you get caught up thinking about bellows directions.
2) Then run through all the choreographies you’re working on. Don’t wiggle or undulate.
3) Eyes closed no matter what. Do not start to visualize everything you’d have to do to escape the tube of doom.
4) When they pull you out, say, “yay!” When they respond with, “we’re not done,” go back to step one.
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